tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27206967071373539842011-04-21T17:13:29.741-04:00I am writing JT's story as I seen it. My son passed away in May of 2007. I am his memory keeper and this is how I am keeping his memory alive by writing a book about his lifeBobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.comBlogger381100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-37595056793647967752008-09-10T08:53:00.002-04:002008-09-10T08:56:52.670-04:00

I am doing a series so to speak on grief at my other bloghttp://siscaboo.wordpress.com/I have never shared the day that JT passed away so, I am doing it over there. If you would like to read the whole story about JT you can go here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/johnathanpolingI am just having a hard time putting the rest of his story up, because well, it is hard, that is a bad excuse but,

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-7342169340534014622008-07-25T07:10:00.002-04:002008-07-25T07:14:44.152-04:00

His incision was again leaking stool and his kidneys were trying to shut down. He was having one blood transfusion a day sometimes twice. The surgeon interns where checking on him and realized that there looked as though there was fluid under his incision. They ended up opening it up and it drained a lot of dark blood. Dr. L. Who was a resident in the NICU told me all about it. They put in

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-62797605148375868682008-06-20T09:03:00.001-04:002008-06-20T09:04:24.262-04:00

When I got in to see him it was a relief. He was really sedated. The ventilator was doing all the work for him and I just whispered I loved him and that everything would be fine and he did great!!! I held his hand for a little while and just sat with him. I was really afraid to touch him because I didn’t want to hurt him. This surgery scared me that much. I was told he will probably be on

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-16149493628047402682008-06-04T08:09:00.002-04:002008-06-04T08:13:13.922-04:00

Johnathan ended up going back to surgery at 11:00. I remember waiting and calling everyone because it was taking a long time. All of his other surgeries were quick. Well, relatively, an hour and a half tops this one took 4 ½ hours. I kept having the lady at the desk call back to make sure everything was ok and then the surgeons kept calling out to let me know that everything was ok. It

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-7960534399421890032008-05-26T21:57:00.002-04:002008-05-26T22:08:49.431-04:00

JT's one year anniversary just passed on May 17th. We let balloons go at 5:15 the time that he left this world to go dance on clouds and play with the angels and most importantly to meet Jesus. We also let a balloon go for a friend whose daughter is in Heaven with JT. I just know they enjoyed it and were having a grand time watching us. I know I haven't blogged anymore of the story and for

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-44957348411563038442008-04-27T07:36:00.000-04:002008-04-27T07:37:07.680-04:00

I think I also caught some of JT’s pneumonia, I remember not feeling really well and not being able to go up there for a few days. I was always really cautious about germs and such. And with him just having pneumonia, I didn’t want to test the fates. I felt so bad when I couldn’t go see him. I really just wish that he had grandparents that were able to go see him. That would help with

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-44384559630452937612008-04-16T09:33:00.001-04:002008-04-16T09:34:09.662-04:00

His cold turned into pneumonia and his right lung collapsed. So, they put him on C-pap which is just high flow oxygen. It helped to keep his lung inflated. And they also positioned him so that his lungs would be able to open up more so that they wouldn’t be constricted. He gave us scare after scare. His pulse ox would drop to about 37 then go back up again and the cough was horrible. He

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-91251920488457257552008-04-08T07:55:00.002-04:002008-04-08T07:59:43.406-04:00

Vicky was one of my life savers in the NICU. She took care of me and kept me sane. She found out information for me and I knew if I had a question she would find out the answer even if to let me know that there was no answer. She also saved things for me to do. And if I was there she let me do everything. She’d say, “Just tell me what you need, otherwise you know where it is.” She made sure that

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-16825444149494404902008-04-03T08:37:00.003-04:002008-04-03T08:44:43.088-04:00

It is really hard for me to edit this next part of my book and get it out for public eyes to see. I am trying to please bear with me. This has been a very emotional journey for me and one that I need to do. Writing this is very therapuetic for me. And I am going through the emotions that I went through as our journey was enfolding. I feel the happiness, the sadness, the frustration and

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-16618334947966697222008-03-25T06:15:00.001-04:002008-03-25T06:17:53.391-04:00

He was almost 4 months old at the time and he was a little more than 5lbs. He was growing by leaps and bounds. Even with no food. It was almost Christmas at this time. So, Stacy and I went in to do a little photo op and it was so much fun. We got him a preemie Santa Suit that was still oodles to big for him. I had sewn a blanket that had a beautiful picture and the words to Amazing Grace

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-62597941653521035032008-03-24T07:48:00.002-04:002008-03-24T08:27:18.413-04:00

Well, the next day our world came crashing down again. JT was only on food for about 12 hours and they took it away again. His old incision the first one from his NEC surgery was leaking again. I just couldn’t believe it. Why oh Why did these things keep happening? I just felt like something was fighting against our happiness. We were only allowed to be happy for a few hours then something else

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-74511654766318898772008-03-19T07:04:00.001-04:002008-03-19T07:07:25.095-04:00

JT had a few problems recovering from his bowel surgery. He was in a lot of pain. He would hold his breath and have lots of Brady’s. So, they put him on nose cannulas with 1liter of oxygen just to help him out a little. He still was at this time not getting any food. They were still waiting for a bowel movement. I got sick around this time and couldn’t get up to see him. Anytime that I

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-91270051876383170132008-03-18T11:30:00.005-04:002008-03-18T11:35:29.773-04:00

Drop me a line... lol. Let me know what you think. I figured out how to capture images from a dvd. So check this out. I am really excited about it.

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-16075546219148489752008-03-10T09:31:00.002-04:002008-03-10T09:34:23.554-04:00

For anyone that is reading I am going to take a break for a while and edit some more. The part of the book I am on now is not editing right. I guess I am trying for perfection, and well that is one of my hang ups I want it to be perfect. So, look for more in a week or so.

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-75657317077757537182008-03-06T05:51:00.002-05:002008-03-06T05:56:52.715-05:00

These are pictures of Johnathan from his first pictures and a couple of him in Cincinnati before his heart surgery. He weight was from 1lb 13 1/2 oz. to 3lbs 4 oz.

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-11975759401809671932008-03-04T07:18:00.001-05:002008-03-04T07:20:23.840-05:00

We found out that the next Wednesday he would be having surgery for ROP (Retinopathy of Prematurity) again. This would be 3 surgeries in as many weeks. It was getting old. Not for me but, for him. I just hated to see him hooked up to that vent again. They were hopeful that this would be the last eye surgery. I remember Retta walking up to me and letting me know that things would be ok.

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-79625925555338430842008-03-03T08:30:00.000-05:002008-03-03T08:31:25.635-05:00

His poor tummy looked terrible. He looked like he had been put through it one to many times. At this time he had 5 scars. 1 from his pda ligation that was done when he was 5 days old. His fist bowel surgery when he was 10 days old. His ostomy site. His open heart surgery, and the surgery to reconnect. He had bumps and valleys everywhere. Sometimes I would look at it and ask myself if it

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-59278886349018891672008-02-29T01:09:00.001-05:002008-02-29T01:09:48.277-05:00

When we got in there he was out he had a paralytic to keep him still and on top of the anesthesia and the pain medication well, let’s just say he had no idea what was going on and wasn’t feeling anything. Stacy and I stayed as long as we could we talked to him and held his hand. I washed his eyes and lips because he was a little gunky. I did that a lot too. I don’t know something about using

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-36047826579862116322008-02-28T08:28:00.000-05:002008-02-28T08:30:53.989-05:00

Well, Wednesday came and me and Stacy were there bright and early for his bowel surgery. When we got there we were really excited because they said with this surgery it wouldn’t be long before he would be able to go home. They were talking like if he tolerated his feeds and started bottle feeds than he would be able to go home by Christmas. I got to walk him down again which I always did and

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-80401589229862956392008-02-27T06:01:00.002-05:002008-02-27T06:06:38.190-05:00

Well, tomorrow came and I was up at the hospital bright and early. I watched him go. He was back in now time and when he came back his eyes were really red and puffy which they told me is normal. He came off the vent at 5:30 that morning. I don’t remember why I couldn’t get up there that morning but, I didn’t get to see him until the evening. He was dressed and looking good and he was happy to

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-80926115729595787172008-02-26T00:48:00.001-05:002008-02-27T06:01:03.472-05:00

They had tired once in Cincinnati to take him off of the vent. He was on C-pap which is basically oxygen with some pressure. But, he didn’t tolerate it well. So, they put him back on the vent.Well, he came back to Dayton and it was just mostly watching him grow. I spent Thanksgiving with him and we had a blast. I found out after thanksgiving that they were going to make plans to reconnect his

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-85317169634191177232008-02-22T06:31:00.001-05:002008-02-22T06:32:57.036-05:00

JT was in Cincinnati for 3 weeks. I thought this was just going to be about a week stay and then he came back. NOPE!! Sure wasn’t. I got to see him 3 times while he was down there. Stacy went with me and took pictures and gave them to me as a gift. We had a great time visiting with him. I didn’t like Cincinnati at all. They were so different. They were sterile. At Dayton and Miami

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-35520167435289125252008-02-21T08:11:00.000-05:002008-02-21T08:12:47.945-05:00

In the beginning of October the cardiologist came to me and told me that they had ran enough tests and have figured out the anatomy of his heart and what they were going to do to fix it. It seemed that all of his arteries and his aorta where going to the other left instead of the right and that they were forming an aortic arch around his windpipe. This is what was making it hard for him to come

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-11169557849116761192008-02-20T09:19:00.001-05:002008-02-20T09:23:38.965-05:00

JT made it through that surgery and recovery just fine. Every day was an accomplishment. For the next month we just watched him grow and talked with him. Not much changed in his care. I learned all about how they have to suction him and keep his vent clear. I changed as many diapers as I could, took temps. I got to hold him weekly when they changed his giraffe incubator. It was only

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-10893138722121311812008-02-19T07:01:00.001-05:002008-02-19T07:03:15.305-05:00

I had four other children at home that I had to take care of. They had to go to school and I had to get them there. I really didn’t have a support system that I could be with him twenty four hours a day. I was bitter about that for a long time and I think that still to this day that makes me mad. It feels like he was ripped off in the mother department because I couldn’t spend every second of his

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-63438256221094612482008-02-18T08:59:00.000-05:002008-02-18T09:03:51.396-05:00

The whole time over in the car, I am freakin out. I do that all the time. Freak out before I get there so that when I get up there I am all freaked out so to speak and have vented everything so that when I get up there I can keep my head and try to listen to and understand what is going on. When we got there we went straight to the NICU. I think I sat and looked in that window watching even

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-32196780480661759122008-02-17T10:49:00.003-05:002008-02-17T10:58:20.402-05:00

Here a slideshow of JT with the song we used at his funeral.

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-89927435105535579182008-02-17T08:49:00.001-05:002008-02-17T08:50:55.562-05:00

One of the best things that you can do for your child I believe and this is my opinion is to talk to them. Tell them about everything. What their siblings did that day, what you did. How you feel about them. Give them little pep talks. Let them know that you are there. Preemies get so agitated with touch because their nervous system is so under developed that the most that you can do is

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-38364853147879569022008-02-16T04:53:00.001-05:002008-02-16T04:56:25.041-05:00

We found out that JT needed surgery when he was 5 days old. He needed a PDA ligation. This is where they go in through the side of the chest and close the vessel that is connecting the pulomonary artery and the aorta. This was supposed to be an easy fairly quick surgery. 45 minutes at the most. I remember going in there and right before his surgery, I got to give him his first bath, and hold

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-84546182249163181602008-02-15T06:34:00.001-05:002008-02-15T06:36:53.544-05:00

Grief, it is a terrible word. You never want to go through it. I never thought that I would have to deal with it. I thought I could live my life and never be touched by it. Yes, I knew my mom, grandparents, and so forth would pass away, but, when I started my family I never even thought of losing one of my children. A child is not supposed to die before their parents. They are supposed to

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-24585701130425868282008-02-14T06:59:00.002-05:002008-02-14T07:21:08.276-05:00

March 2nd I found out I was pregnant. We were trying for one more baby. We were really excited. We thought maybe this time a boy. My pregnancy was progressing along nicely so I thought… My 4th month u/s showed my placenta was forming over my cervix. I was put on “light” bed rest. I could do a few things like those drated dishes. But, no heavy lifting or lots of standing. Well, I did

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-62899042905903730592008-02-13T07:33:00.002-05:002008-02-13T07:41:06.902-05:00

I am going to start leaving parts of my book here. Since I can't find a disk to save it on what better way to save it? Well, as long as I don't forget the password of course. So, from now on you get to read Johnathan's Journey. (Our journey in the NICU as seen through a mother's eyes). I am going to leave the who I dedicate this book to up first. Then I'll start at the beginning and just

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-33813620901066025112008-02-05T06:33:00.000-05:002008-02-05T06:57:47.302-05:00

I have been reading alot of blogs of families that are going through really hard times. Their babies have trisomy 18. I have read their stories and prayed for them and although my son didn't have T-18, I can understand their feelings. The anger, the joy, the emotions that I have been going through just reading their entries. It has helped bring back memories of my time with Johnathan that I

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-20099024772696645442008-01-13T10:57:00.001-05:002008-01-13T10:58:47.417-05:00

Here is the link: http://siscaboo.wordpress.com/Hope you all enjoy that one because I can never make this one work. The funny thing is I just found it again. lol.

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-62998022432799427502007-04-24T18:32:00.000-04:002007-04-24T18:35:07.827-04:00

Well, my life has been crazy as ever. I sometimes do not know what I am doing from one moment to the next. I mess up things and forget things. I need a secretary to keep my life straight. I think I know what is going on and wham an emergency happens and well, everything is all messed up again. My poor girls don't know what is going on either. I try to spend at least one day a week home from

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-89968246359657230792007-03-17T08:05:00.000-04:002007-03-17T08:07:34.068-04:00

Took me this long to figure out how to make a new post. I was doing something wrong. I have a hard time figuring out new things I guess. I started a Xanga account and well, took me a while to figure that one out too. Terrible, I tell Ya, sometimes I think that one day, I will figure out how to use this computer completely. But, I have figured it out. lol. So, expect entries from now on.

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-39221623847214620982007-03-05T21:17:00.000-05:002007-03-05T21:19:00.355-05:00

Well, things have been crazy. Life is crazy, I am so busy and missing home so much. Nothing is the same. I feel like I am letting my family down not being around. But, in the same, how do I let J.T. down? It is a no win situation no matter how you look at it. Hopefully they get done with his assesment soon and he goes back to Dayton. Cincinnati is just so far away.

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2720696707137353984.post-75726637806471952902007-02-07T15:06:00.001-05:002007-02-07T15:06:58.782-05:00

I made a new blog. How cool.

Bobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10119046483016314068noreply@blogger.com0